After more than 24 years, I realised that some of the best moments in life are often cherished when one hopes onto a set of wheels and observes the world around. It is these lessons that leave a lasting impression and change the personality within. Allow me to take you through some of my life's experiences.
My visit to the garden city after a period of 2 years was unlike any visit to a metropolitan. To begin I was no longer a student nor did I have a escort at all times.
Upon reaching Banaswadi station I had hired an autorickshaw to travel from the railway station towards my place of stay, situated nearly 15 minutes from the station. It was not long before I realised that I would be dependent on the three wheeler for the rest of errands across the city as well.
So there I was shuttling between Banaswadi, to the city's 'happening' side of Kormangala, Marthahalli and of course Indira Nagar.
At first, I visited a friend and his wife to meet the latest addition to their family - an adorable and healthy baby girl. The very sight of this little angel had brought a strange sense of feeling complete to my life. For there I was, holding on to something so tender, innocent and pure. Indeed, I was honoured to have held her in my arms as she slept peacefully, clueless about how the world outside was. My friends their families were thrilled too.
I then met an old school friend, who had always been fascinated by my ability to narrate fresh yet 'exciting' tales each time we speak. As the two of us began speaking I couldn't help but realise that we had grown up and were independent women with perceptions of our own. Yet, we remained close and honest to each other.
Soon after, I had set out to meet a family whom I had known for almost 20 years. This was truly a blessing. For I had last met the couple when they are medical students. I was happy to see how well they were doing and had raised their children with a great regard for moral values. I was indeed home. We spoke for hours. Not knowing how time flew. The incident was an emotional moment for me, for it took me back to the happiest moments of my life - childhood.
I decided to top it all of with my first visit to a pub. Sure the ambience seemed rather weird. But the ground reality proved otherwise. I was not over awed by the so-called night life. But I enjoyed seeing many happy faces around me.
The trip was the beginning of some of my greatest lessons of life. Thus, the adventure continued. Soon I was off to an 8 day trip to the hills of northern Karnataka with a group of absolute strangers. Things had truly changed. I had experienced the life I had yearned for. Freedom with a sack full of memories, learning and most of all an opportunity to understand my inner self. The cool wind, the interaction with the local residents as well as the many instances of having to speak the local language gave a unique sense of satisfaction and joy. Something that I knew could never be replaced.
But most of all, I learnt the many truths about the human brain. The human mind is truly complex. On the one hand we talk of peace, and treating everybody as equals. We often fail to accept people for what they are.
Sure I did enjoy being on own, but deep inside like any person, I yearned for that special person whom I could share those precious moments with. Sadly, nothing ever works perfect to the 'T.'
I have often faced the ultimate dilemma - the one's I adore care two hoots about my well being, while those whom I would really adore as mere associates shower more than required. When the admiration or attention showered crosses a certain level, things do get messy, compelling me to push them aside. (I mean, why don't they get it!). May be it is my earnest desire to have someone understand me and accept me that drives me into situations as amusing as these.
Moreover, all the travelling and train hopping taught me the most wonderful aspect of a relationship - the inner self.
Not
long ago, a friend and I had a rather firm feud. For the light
hearted, it appeared to be nothing more than random outbursts of the
stressful mind. But to those involved, it was a moment that ceased to
leave the troubled mind. Not only were we angry, but we had indeed
lost control of all senses. I, however, admited it. While he
continues to claim that he was aware of all that he was doing and was
not at fault. In fact, he believed that he was justified in doing so.
In the end, well, a wiseman did say that time resolves all problems.
It was indeed time that helped us devise a solution to the issue.
The result of such incidents - we often forget to be ourselves, live the life we wish to lead and stay content. Instead, one is always worried about being left behind while his competitors/peers/siblings take those large leaps ahead. Sure, not all of us are gifted and are not saint-like. Patience is indeed a virtue. But most of all, one must not judge a book by its cover. This old saying seems most applicable in any relationship. Rather, the relationships that last a life time or even longer elaborate the concept the best. The question is - how?
The entire incident compelled me to introspect. For days, I wondered
if I deserved to be hurt. I continued to ponder over the way in I
would have hurt people in the past and nearly believed
that Karma seemed to have been the cause of all that
was bad around me. It took me a while to realise that this was who I
am.
I was
in the midst of conversation with an old 'admirer' when I had found
the answer to my question. This man in particular was strange. A
genius at everything he does but an absolute mess with regards to
human bonds. Let us say that he would rather spend a lifetime with
canines, felis catus (cat) or even reptiles as opposed to a human
room mate. (LOL!). What amused me was despite his fear, he seemed to
have enjoyed talking to me and would share a lot about his life and
desires. All he need was another soul who would have make a good
conversationalist as well as be a good listener. Funny enough, over a
period of time, I learnt to play that part. To a certain extent, he
seemed to have approved of the person I am. All of a sudden I was
reminded of all those who still stand by me when I am left in the
dark. All of them had one thing in common - a giant heart. A heart
that let me be me no matter what.
It is
true. No relationship/bond should be pursued with a lot of effort.
People do take each other for granted. It is only but natural for one
to do so if they are most comfortable with the other. Many a time,
the term 'taken for granted' is used synonymously for 'a
responsibility that goes unsaid.' But most all, nothing in world
should deter you from being what you are. Tough, soft-spoken; rude or
polite; diplomatic or blunt; you decide how you wish to be for in the
end, you must take care of yourself and stand up for what you believe
in.
One must also remember, that sometimes great things happen when least expected. My trip to Northern Karnataka gave me an opportunity to interact with new faces and make some truly special friends. So did my trip to Bangalore. In short, you never know what is at store.
So what do you do? Be yourself. You are always bound to be happier in the longer run for you are true to that one person that matters most - You.
