A walk to remember

The count down has begun. Soon, I will no longer be part of the hustling and bustling in Mumbai. Yet, I hadn't experienced the charm of Mumbai. Until one day, nature decided to show mes the romantic side of the city's madness. Indeed, I had fallen in love with the city of dreams.

       It was another hot Saturday afternoon. After spending many hours before my portable idiot box (the laptop),  I was determined to step out of the walls of my tiny room, and breathe some fresh air. I began dialing every number I could recall, wondering if anybody would like to accompany me to some of the city's most scenic spots. While one spoke of visiting a colleague the other had blatantly denied the invite saying that he had too many clothes to wash. Some others refused to answer my call. And then there was the group I did not want to enjoy my last Saturday evening in Mumbai with, primarily because I wanted stay away from the world I was associated with for too long.

     An hour or two later, I decided to ask Brijesh to accompany me to one of the most fascinating and serene places of Mumbai- Powai. 'Well, my friend is coming by, but I should be free by six thirty. However if you are busy window shopping with some other women, then carry on. My buddies and I are going to explore HRC,' said a rather excited Brijesh. The confused yet pre-occupied tone had stirred a tinge of anger. It was not long before I chose to scream as loud as I could. 'LOOK buddy, I can't tolerate the sight of clothes, shoes and bags. I want to be able to have some fun my way. So I hope to see you at the lake,' and I set out as fast I could.

The journey lasted for 30 minutes. And before I could say, WOW! I saw Brijesh dressed in a set of casuals wondering what his lost wanderer friend was upto. 'Hey! What's up?' and thus, began the most memorable walk of a lifetime. Brijesh began talking to me about his major weekend plans while I continued to complain and  mock the strange mannerisms of the world around me. It was not long before a couple of drastic changes in Brijesh's weekend plans had forced him to stay back for another hour. Sure, I mocked him. But at heart, I was on cloud 9. For I finally had a chance share some of my most satisfactory moments with a person with a 'LIVE LIFE KING SIZE' attitude. There I was a midst the blaring traffic, enjoying the most mesmerising sight of a lake, with a man who let me speak my heart out, act silly but most of all I had fun. All of a sudden, I felt a tinge of surprise. After all this time, I finally found a buddy. A person who not only valued my views, but who ensured that I value his too. And as we both walked around the lake, we began talking of a personalities, movies, careers, and a lot of random topics.

       The sight was beautiful. It was dusk. And in the distant oblivion I could see the hills craving for the moon to shower its light through the gaps of two luxurious apartments. 'LOOK at that,' and Brijesh stood still staring at the full moon which appeared to be bigger and brighter than the usual. Time flew. It was time for us to part ways. While he remained jovial until the very end, I began sensing a certain degree of sadness. I was sad for now I am sure these moments of high hopes and fantasy will soon become a mere memory and that it will have to be shelved for a very long time. I tried to hide my emotions. I wanted the night to stay still. It was the first time, I was ME. I loved myself. And I adored the way in which I chose to play my cards in the game of life.

  We soon bid adieu. As I recalled the night I realised that time works in wondrous ways. While I struggled to make a mark for myself and see the world around me, a superior power felt that 'NOW' was the time for me to enjoy the world around me. Smile and bring smiles on the faces of people. Was it Brijesh or was it the moment? I do not know. Guess, sometimes mysteries and questions can remain unanswered. It does make the tale more exciting.

Introspection

Introspection

My life is all about boundaries, norms and fair play. Everday I pray and hope for the world to stand by some of my pereceptions only so that I do not feel stressed out by the rat race. Then again, who dares to breathe, slow down, or even look at oneself especially in the game called survival of the fittest. Only a few months, and I am out of breathe. Could this maddening desire to top the charts make one more angry than those before us?

It was yet another day of yelling, abusing and confusion. My task for the day was simple for I had to do what I loved most, editing a tiny video clipping. A few hours later, I am caught for having destroyed the aesthics of the video clipping. While some ignored my mere existence, some cursed me. It was then that I had chosen to sought help. For I failed to understand the systems/procedures that are in place.

My friends advised me to quit what I was doing. So did other superiors at work. The day had come when I was in dilemma. Do I quit and bid farewell to the world I had imagined all my life? Or do I say- wait, breathe and observe? It was then I had approached my professor from college. While I waited for his reponse, I continued to display fabulous works of breatheless verbal diarrhoea among friends and family. Their advice and remarks however, seemed to had no impact on the way I perceived my life to be.

Those endless moments of self-doubt; the painful moments of having to rough it out without any support from a loved living close by; it all seemed too hard to deal with. Quitting semmed to be the easiest and most sensible option.I thought to myself- ' why must I struggle, when I have nothing to lose and the opportunity to do better?' For days, the thought kept me going until I saw my compatriots doing better. The change in my attitude and personality was indeed scary. And I knew I had to begin to take life into my own hands.

Things changed after receiving a detailed reply from my professor on the other hand. Introspect- was what he had said. A subtle reminder of one of my principles. A principle I believe in, but often fail to practice. His advice had convinced me of my faults and had motivated me to toughen up. It was then that I had taken the toughest decision and continue struggle in the hope of a better tomorrow. Indeed. His outlook regarding my flaws and the situation were not unique but had also pushed me continue doing all that I had to.

I admit, it isn't to listen to criticism. But I believe criticism from those who have observed you closely, and have always meant well for you, are worth heeding to. We often blame the world around us for the hard times we face. But do we own up for faults that are ours. May the real world exists because of the unfair blame game. After all, who would like to invite trouble? On the contrary, a world as unfair as this, can be quite a spectable and can guaratee you a million laughs. In the end, it is not about the growth, the performance or the status. It is about you. Your perceptions and what you desire to be. And nothing can stop us from being all that we want to be.

Band Stand, Bandra, Photography by Gitanjali Diwakar

(When in doubt, look at the horizon, and ask yourself if you wish to explore the world beyond. And if you do, follow your heart, strive towards the horizon and then leap, for you will never know unless you dare to to)

Celebrating life

Well, seems like I have not been writing for a long time. I admit I have neglected those who really mattered to me- my fellow readers. But I promise to make up for my absolute lack of consistency.

   They say the 'learning never ends.' I believe that is what the past three months have taught me. From tackling numerous instances of self-doubt, to being able to remain calm and emotionless in a crisis situation. I have learnt that life is no bed of roses. Then again, life has to be celebrated.

   There is so much more to the world than the tough competition and endless supply of money. All it takes a feeling heart and you will see a whole new world around you. A world were mothers are forced to carry their toddlers for hours until a kind soul offers them their seat. A world were being practical and rational is considered insane and childish.

   It was this thought that motivated me to understand the true essence of celebration. And thus, I set out on the journey to re-discover the meaning of celebration. My journey led me to a the most memorable weddings of my life. My cousin's wedding had not only given me a chance to vent out and dance to my heart's content, but had also let me re-live my childhood. For 3 days, all my cousins chose to become school kids until the celebrations had concluded.

  My journey taught me that smiles are the greatest shields of mankind. While they help you shield the troubled lives you lead, they a great source of inspiration and help you face tough times head-on. It is interesting to note that some of lives most valuable lessons are often taught to me by a nine year old girl with a traumatised childhood. Her smile, is symbol of strength and hope. And has kept me going as well.

Guess, one must search for those long lost smiles, cherish them and live the each moment for each one of them is a gift.

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