Would you please stop?!

Personally, I am exhausted of having to justify my views and perceptions of the world around me. Anything and anyone is judged. Though many preach of life being simple, who truly believes in practicing all that is being preached? I bet even the preacher chooses otherwise.

There is not a day when I do not wonder as to why people choose go by a protocol, knowing that they will have to breakaway from doing so soon enough. Who says what? To whom? Why what we said is rude but not honest? How we must be honest yet diplomatic? I have come to think that we are so scared of being who we really are. But most of all, I am concerned that we have begun to fear clarifying our doubts.

 It is as if there is an unseen and widely accepted rule book for all that we see. The easiest answer to most queries - 'Because our society believes so.'

As a child, I had accepted these replies as if they were words of wisdom. Abiding by them felt like taking a step towards righteousness. Now, as a young and restless adult - my questions continue to clarified in a similar fashion; only this time I am not convinced. The end result - I am termed 'the kind.'

Not too long ago a friend of mine and I were discussing a rather sensitive issue when all of a sudden his perceptions that opened my eyes into a whole new horizon. The discussion led to a rather interesting thought - we live in a world where everything seems to be changing by the second. The India that I live in seems to be witnessing a drastic change in the mindsets of the average Indian that is often obstructed by the steadfast and firm perceptions of the generations before mine. Thus, concepts of free speech, interaction with the opposite sex or even marriage for-the-sake of the companionship are yet to sink in. But that does not stop my generation from adapting themselves to a new lifestyle.

Each one of us, at the end of them day, is pulled down by a heavy anchor (figuratively speaking) and is denied a chance to grow and adapt to the world around us. While our age old values of mutual respect, tolerance and family have been appreciated worldwide, it applications in the current day scenario seem rather jaded. Who said that long rides along the sea on a bike with a trusted friend is bad? Is dating someone wrong? Does caste and creed matter in the world of matrimony? Why must I still be doubtful about befriending a person hailing from the SC or ST community?

The deeper we look into each of these aspects, the more clear it becomes. We, if given a chance, love being liberal and tolerant. But rarely do we try being so. A society is made up of perceptions of a group of people. It is a invisible association that merely provides a platform for interactions to all social animals (Yes, animals - haven't you seen how dogs and cows live in absolute harmony!). In short we define the rule. We construct the society.

Off late, there is no single society but a number of individual sub-societies that complicate the simple life we ought to lead. If you ask me, I think life is and will always be black and white. How? Anything that harms a person and is unfair is bad. Anything that keeps a person happy is good. Our sub-societies have redefined this and have selectively decided what is good and bad. Whom are we to torture a person or make a person suffer immense pain in the name of 'sweet revenge?' How dare we judge people based on the faiths they hold close to their hearts? I believe the moment you learn to look at a larger picture and can spot the exact white and black spots most of our issues can be resolved in a jiffy.

Remember there will always be exceptions - both good and bad. It is, thus, all the more important for us as a community to work harder towards creating an environment that could help tackle or make room for these exceptions. The process is slow and tiresome. But is any task on earth less tiresome? It is not only difficult the first 10 ten times. Perhaps the first 20 times too. After that, it is indeed a cake-walk. If not now, we human beings are bound to fail the test of survival of the fittest sooner than expected. The choice is ours. I say let us start now.

One more month away

In exactly 30 days, I would be hitting a yet another new milestone - the quarter mile. Looking back at life so far, I can't help but realise how much I have changed. From being a meddlesome toddler whose life's ambition was to be that doctor who would follow her father's footsteps, to a content and happy media person. Indeed, I have come a long way. As a child, I was never exposed to the world of greys. Everything had two sides  - the good and the bad. Nobody believed in the concept of 'acceptable,' or even 'satisfactory.' As I gradually opened my eyes to the big-but-not-so-bad-world, I began noticing the finer subtleties to life. I noticed how the broadminded remained so until the ball was in their court. I noticed how fair play and partiality are often synonymous of each other. I noticed how privacy or personal space - not matter how well-defined- is never truly personal or private :). But most of all, I had learnt that your life, your destiny is shaped by the choices you make and the consequences that are bound doing so. I had sought many an opportunity, cherished most of them, and I have had several stories to share from the experiences that I have gained. All in all, I would say the ride has only begun. I have more to explore, experience and embrace. 

In holy matrimony

I had the pleasure of being part of several weddings. Each time I witness a man and woman tying the knot, I wonder what and how their life is bound to change. Sure, you might be marrying the love of your life. Or would probably marrying a person with whom you would have felt a strange connection on that crucial day. Either ways, while the wedding is a mere ceremony, the bond called marriage is deeper than what it appears. Indian marriages were and are always about the family. Despite the fights, disagreements, and confusion, the marriage is bound to bring families closer. It was not only about the parents giving their daughter away but also about the in-laws embracing the new member of a family. But what is amazing is that in the end, be it love or arranged, everyone firmly believes that marriages are made in heaven. 

A few weeks ago, I had experienced a most interesting sense of satisfaction.  My friend had married a woman whom I would term to be his perfect half. While he fusses over traveling abroad, she ensures that he tags along when she does. When he chose to remain expressionless during religious rituals, she makes it fun and memorable. But most of all, when she stands next to him, he looks complete. He was always happy but now he is content and truly on cloud nine. 

At a family friend's wedding, I could not help but notice how an average 3bhk could accommodate over 20 people, and be lively all the while. It was amazing to see how everybody including me became part of the celebrations in whatever way we could.  Everybody was family. The event only brought the people closer. If I could say so - I felt more a part of this family than of my own. For reasons beyond explanation. Yes, my family is fun, but am confident that a wedding involving too many people would see the active participation of only two or three people. It would be a mere event and not an opportunity for people to bond and for the family to grow bigger. 

All in all, I guess marriage is not only of what we want it to be, but also a bi-product of the blessings of all our forefathers and of destiny. :-)

It is good to be you

After more than 24 years, I realised that some of the best moments in life are often cherished when one hopes onto a set of wheels and observes the world around. It is these lessons that leave a lasting impression and change the personality within. Allow me to take you through some of my life's experiences. 

My visit to the garden city after a period of 2 years was unlike any visit to a metropolitan.  To begin I was no longer a student nor did I have a escort at all times. 

Upon reaching Banaswadi station I had hired an autorickshaw to travel from the railway station towards my place of stay, situated nearly 15 minutes from the station. It was not long before I realised that I would be dependent on the three wheeler for the rest of errands across the city as well. 

So there I was shuttling between Banaswadi, to the city's 'happening' side of Kormangala, Marthahalli and of course Indira Nagar. 

At first, I visited a friend and his wife to meet the latest addition to their family - an adorable and healthy baby girl. The very sight of this little angel had brought a strange sense of feeling complete to my life. For there I was, holding on to something so tender, innocent and pure. Indeed, I was honoured to have held her in my arms as she slept peacefully, clueless about how the world outside was. My friends their families were thrilled too. 

I then met an old school friend, who had always been fascinated by my ability to narrate fresh yet 'exciting' tales each time we speak. As the two of us began speaking I couldn't help but realise that we had grown up and were independent women with perceptions of our own. Yet, we remained close and honest to each other. 

Soon after, I had set out to meet a family whom I had known for almost 20 years. This was truly a blessing. For I had last met the couple when they are medical students. I was happy to see how well they were doing and had raised their children with a great regard for moral values. I was indeed home. We spoke for hours. Not knowing how time flew. The incident was an emotional moment for me, for it took me back to the happiest moments of my life - childhood. 

I decided to top it all of with my first visit to a pub. Sure the ambience seemed rather weird. But the ground reality proved otherwise.  I was not over awed by the so-called night life. But I enjoyed seeing many happy faces around me. 

The trip was the beginning of some of my greatest lessons of life. Thus, the adventure continued. Soon I was off to an 8 day trip to the hills of northern Karnataka with a group of absolute strangers. Things had truly changed. I had experienced the life I had yearned for. Freedom with a sack full of memories, learning and most of all an opportunity to understand my inner self. The cool wind, the interaction with the local residents as well as the many instances of having to speak the local language gave a unique sense of satisfaction and joy. Something that I knew could never be replaced. 

But most of all, I learnt the many truths about the human brain. The human mind is truly complex. On the one hand we talk of peace, and treating everybody as equals. We often fail to accept people for what they are.

Sure I did enjoy being on own, but deep inside like any person, I yearned for that special person whom I could share those precious moments with. Sadly, nothing ever works perfect to the 'T.' 

I have often faced the ultimate dilemma - the one's I adore care two hoots about my well being, while those whom I would really adore as mere associates shower more than required. When the admiration or attention showered crosses a certain level, things do get messy, compelling me to push them aside.  (I mean, why don't they get it!). May be it is my earnest desire to have someone understand me and accept me that drives me into situations as amusing as these.

Moreover, all the travelling and train hopping taught me the most wonderful aspect of a relationship - the inner self. 

Not long ago, a friend and I had a rather firm feud. For the light hearted, it appeared to be nothing more than random outbursts of the stressful mind. But to those involved, it was a moment that ceased to leave the troubled mind. Not only were we angry, but we had indeed lost control of all senses. I, however, admited it. While he continues to claim that he was aware of all that he was doing and was not at fault. In fact, he believed that he was justified in doing so. In the end, well, a wiseman did say that time resolves all problems. It was indeed time that helped us devise a solution to the issue.

The result of such incidents - we often forget to be ourselves, live the life we wish to lead and stay content. Instead, one is always worried about being left behind while his competitors/peers/siblings take those large leaps ahead. Sure, not all of us are gifted and are not saint-like. Patience is indeed a virtue. But most of all, one must not judge a book by its cover. This old saying seems most applicable in any relationship. Rather, the relationships that last a life time or even longer elaborate the concept the best. The question is - how?

The entire incident compelled me to introspect. For days, I wondered if I deserved to be hurt. I continued to ponder over the way in I would have hurt people in the past and nearly believed that Karma seemed to have been the cause of all that was bad around me. It took me a while to realise that this was who I am.

I was in the midst of conversation with an old 'admirer' when I had found the answer to my question. This man in particular was strange. A genius at everything he does but an absolute mess with regards to human bonds. Let us say that he would rather spend a lifetime with canines, felis catus (cat) or even reptiles as opposed to a human room mate. (LOL!). What amused me was despite his fear, he seemed to have enjoyed talking to me and would share a lot about his life and desires. All he need was another soul who would have make a good conversationalist as well as be a good listener. Funny enough, over a period of time, I learnt to play that part. To a certain extent, he seemed to have approved of the person I am. All of a sudden I was reminded of all those who still stand by me when I am left in the dark. All of them had one thing in common - a giant heart. A heart that let me be me no matter what.

It is true. No relationship/bond should be pursued with a lot of effort. People do take each other for granted. It is only but natural for one to do so if they are most comfortable with the other. Many a time, the term 'taken for granted' is used synonymously for 'a responsibility that goes unsaid.' But most all, nothing in world should deter you from being what you are. Tough, soft-spoken; rude or polite; diplomatic or blunt; you decide how you wish to be for in the end, you must take care of yourself and stand up for what you believe in. 

One must also remember, that sometimes great things happen when least expected. My trip to Northern Karnataka gave me an opportunity to interact with new faces and make some truly special friends. So did my trip to Bangalore. In short, you never know what is at store. 

So what do you do? Be yourself. You are always bound to be happier in the longer run for you are true to that one person that matters most - You. 

Puppy love!

His eyes continue to gleam before me. I can still sense the thud as I enter the compound. His excitement brought a cheer on my face. And all he craved for was a pat on his head. His unconditional love can never be replaced. Now, it is all a distant memory.

Love is strange. On the one hand, it is something that triggers certain needs. While on the other, it is a feeling without which the mere existence of a living being is incomplete. There are so many kinds of love. In fact, each society defines love in a different manner. And as 'intelligent' living beings, we abide by the societal norms, almost blindly, and accept the many theories of an emotion so complex without even the slightest desire to question or discover the not so obvious.

The fact is, human beings are a sack full of expectations. No matter how simple a person many be, he is bound to have desires that cannot always be fulfilled. If we are promised the universe, we expect the universe to grant us power imagination. If we are given all the love in the world, we dream about being the only person worth loving.

It wasn't until I became friends with man's faithful canine, did I realise the true meaning of love. Bolt was a Labrador. It was so full of life. I would wake up to his bark or seeing his little head stuck between two railings on the terrace. That was how he chose to greet us.

His eyes said it all. Anything naughty or nice, the gleam caught our attention. And I would stand in absolute awe.

Bold died really young. But yet, I still feel his presence. Every time I opened the gates, I could still hear his bark echoing in my head.  His soft, white fur always drew me to pat it, while his eyes depicted affection, care and love. There was never a day when I felt upset after having pat him. His excitement and sheer desire to be with me, even after a hard time at work, always made me feel blessed and worthy of being myself.

I still remember how he stood on the boundary wall, with his paws resting on the wall, waiting for me to pat him. Bidding adieu was never this hard. I would have to force myself to step away and beg him to head back to his kennel.

His death was more than just a loss of another affectionate living being. It was as if, a part of our lives had just been snatched away after nature decided to act its way. Funny, but that affection, love and trust could never be replaced, explained or understood. And yet, it was accepted.

Relationships are strange. Many a time, it is our desire for company, the special someone that pushes us to strike a conversation with people whom we barely know. It is funny how sometimes our greatest friends are those who we met at an essay contest or even on the train. Or in my case, a four legged canine.

What is more fascinating, is that sometimes those bonds become more powerful, unique and special. Nobody knows why or how people choose to let their guard down and get close to some. We will never know why and how we feel lonely without that stranger beside us.

 Love - in its true sense, is unconditional. It is an emotion that motivates you to fight each day. It is that feeling that makes you feel alive and grateful every second.

It was Bolt who taught me what love was. Nobody will ever be able to explain how Bolt could dare to be affectionate even after having spent precious little time with him. And now, his absence does make us feel incomplete in some way.

Perhaps that is what love is all about. Perhaps, that is why, letting go is never easy.

That is what they want!

Okay. I admit that my limited knowledge of the media has led to terrible rifts with  the world around me. But yet, I do not seem to stop questioning the most strange yet accepted approaches in the field.

An area that often contradicts one's thoughts could be the way in which content is presented before the public. Be it television, radio or even online, there is no formula to the ideal representation of information to the audience. To begin with, many in the industry fail to define their audience which does lead to a lot of chaos and confusion.

As a viewer I am puzzled by the rather obscure depiction of various content in advertisements, cinema and even television shows. How does the media know what we want? Is it that audiences of the 21st century are uninterested in good yet innovative work? Or do the big-daddies of media still believe that the age old formula or drama, masala and 'modernity' is still the only solution to a successful business? On the one hand, we curse the media for exaggerating certain topics. While on the other, media schools encourage students to conduct further research so as to understand the market and of course the mind-set of the audience.

Entertainment TV in India is perhaps a wonderful example that clearly explains the varied moods of the Indian media. From flooding its screens with soaps, many channels have now resorted to reality shows. No offence, but an over doze of the same formula can bore you to death! It has become next to impossible to consider other forms of entertainment solely as we have tuned our audiences to watch the various versions of the famous the saas- bahu hungama!. Ah! Yes, then there are the celebrity or film shows that many claim to excite people. Let us be realistic. The first of its kind will always have a charm of its own. But you can't guarantee that a similar show with 'major'modifications will bring you the desired viewership.

Whatever happened to creativity? Who dares to think out of the box? Why are ideas being ignored in the name of competition? Why must me follow the others?

Interestingly, even television news seems to have adapted the same formula and has become (if I must say so) more entertaining than soaps. Death, rape, corruption and everything that is not nice has suddenly taken over the screens. Nobody truly values NEWS, FACTS or even INFORMATION. It is all about the number of eye-balls one can grab in 30 minutes. Our anchors scream at the top of their voices, making a situation sound tense and life threatening, while in reality there is nothing immensely dangerous that could take place. Nobody raise questions. Instead, they continue to state the obvious in as many vocal variations. All of a sudden, news is not about digging deeper. But it is about the how effectively you can raise the TRP of your channel and perhaps become no.1 in the business.

I think it is high time we accept that the media is not only about latest fashion trends, the stars or even the glamour. It took many great minds to make it what it is today. And as future members of the media, we must strive towards keeping their dreams alive. And bring out something unique, special and memorable every second. Gone are the days when fashion ruled the screens. With youtube or even  It would not be long before mobile applications or even laptops would replace television sets. We have to dare to be different. We have to dare to stand out. Most of all we must dare to make a mark at each stage.

So gear up for a more competitive and happening experience in the media!!

It is about living life King Size...

They say things happen when least expected. For years, I detested all those who uttered the cliche`. Until one day, the most of strange thing happened. Something that changed me in every sense. From being the lost, confused, and angry person I have now begun to feel proud of being 'me.' 
     It was yet, another day off from the hectic life of journalist. I was extremely upset after a massive argument with a former batchmate from college over an issue that had been lingering in my head for months. At the end of the argument, I was miserable and yearned to be dettached from the rest of the world. Inspite of making an attempt to talk it out with a few friends, I was unable to get our depression and my terrible state of mind. Until Brijesh called and had asked me for directions to my residence.
    Forgive me for not introducing you the protagonist of this tale. Brijesh, an engineer from Bangalore, is not only a 'geek' but is a party-animal beyond imagination. A friend of a friend, this 24 year old was unique in his approach to life. Sure, he has problems which he does not dare discuss. But it was his live life King Size that caught my attention. Hailing from the quiet little town of Kollam, Kerala, Brijesh is perhaps those few men, who not believes in certain values, but has tried his hand at many things. Be it smoking, drinking (which he relishes even today), long bike rides with no safety gear etc. 'Just the person I needed to talk to,' I thought as he approached the entrance of my building.
   Like most of my days off, I decided to meet up with a few friends. And as luck would have wanted, I met Brijesh and we spent alot of time together roaming around the city of Mumbai. At first I was sad, for my feared my friend would have to deal with a rather moody person after his hectic day at work. Strangely, he seemed extremely happy to go around the gullies of Dadar inspite of shirt soaked in perspiration. After a rather long walk, the two of us decided to enjoy the air-conditoned premises of a coffee shop. Brijesh then granted me permission to speak my heart out and thus, for the next 3 hours, he was witness to a rather embarrasing sight of verbal diarrohea. I began talking to him about the fight with my batchmate, the lousy world of corruption, how chocolate makes me hyperactive etc. I confess, he was forced to listen to me, though he did voice his opions from time to time.
  After roaming around Mumbai for nearly 4 hours, Brijesh dared to ask me some rather shocking questions. 'Do you like yourself? Must you always need somebody to appreciate you?' he asked. I was astound. 'Not another fight, and stop complaining session,' I thought. 'Yes, I do like myself. But it just feels nice to listen to a compliment when you do something nice' I said. It was not long before we began talking about the importance of loving oneself. Brijesh replied-'I know it does hurt to know that you are never made to feel good about everything you do. And it does boost one's morale when you are complimented. But have you ever considered doing something for yourself? Be it dressing up in an attire you would have never adorned? Or probably going to be club and dancing till your feet become numb? You must do it. Who cares about the world? You have every right to do all that you would like to the way you want to.' Brijesh was not the only person to have told me about it. Many others have, including my brothers. But I guess in most occasions I had ruled out the option of listening to someone else's opinion. At that moment, it felt as if Brijesh had read my mind. It was not long before I began telling him about greatest desire to ride a bike or drive my own car across the borders of a state. All of a sudden I realised that it was my fear strange fear of the world that held me back. There were stories to tell. My life had no adventures, no excitement. Each time I was hurt, I felt alone for I never dared to try new things. 'I have never been to pub,' I told Brijesh. He smirked and then chose to ignore my comment. 'Sometime later,' he said. Honestly, it was this comment that has ensured that I never stop smiling. For I actually dared to spill out my heart's tiniest desire. 'Sure I do not drink. But one must know what such places feel like. After all, Mumbai is a free city,' I thought to myself.
    As he escorted me back to my residence, he told me to never hesitate being myself even if it meant being my childish. So long as you are happy there is nothing that can stop you from doing or being what you are.
   Ever since that very day, I no longer regret my past. I no longer hold any grudges towards those whom I considered unfair and dishonest. All of a sudden I felt confident about who I am. People often accused of me of being immature, child-like and unreasonable. While some others said my child-like quality was what they appreciate the most in me. All of a sudden I felt like dancing in the middle of the street(yes, the bollywood fever is contangious!). After all these days, I no longer feared CHANGE.
   Sometimes change can be as scary as falling off a cliff. The thought of doing something unusual, unknown of the many consequences is bound make one feel hollow and doubtful about themselves. We are all raised to believe in the concepts of black and white. Although we talk of the grey areas of life, many a time we forget about them are often alternate between the modern and traditional approaches of life. Perhaps that is why we often witness or are victims of the world of the judgemental.
   Then again Change is constant and there is precious little wean do about that. The challenge is however, to adapt to the world around us. And continue to cherish every moment we live. I guess, it is time for me to grab my gear and head to muddy terrians and experience those bumpy rides and smile about the bodyache :).